5 priceless moments from tonight’s Geordie Shore: Season 11 Episode 5
[WARNING: The following story contains frequent strong language and sexual references. It’s Geordie Shore! What did you expect?]
Tonight’s episode of Geordie Shore: The Greek Odyssey promises to be an intense one as the housemates navigate the aftermath of Kyle and Holly’s breakup. As usual there’s plenty of screaming, plus a saucy banana boat ride, and a wild boys’ night out replete with many a disastrous twist and turn. Oh, my!
While we won’t reveal too much of the many entertaining surprises in store, we can’t help listing our favourite moments from tonight’s episode. It’s definitely not to be missed!
1. After a disastrous night out, Kyle explains to the boys what went wrong.
Kyle: Obviously we went on a night out. You never go on a night out with your exes, so it was fuckin’ hard … And then to kiss a girl, Marnie took it the wrong way. It was just a kiss hello, it was nothing! It was literally fucking nothing man!
Scott: Schoolboy error mate!
Aaron: He kissed a girl on the same day he finished Holly. Brave man!
2. Gaz discusses the ‘curse’ on the Geordie Shore house.
Holly overhears and things escalate quickly.
Gaz [to Kyle]: Since you and Holly finished… like no one’s pulled.
Holly [to Gaz]: Gary I can fuckin’ hear you still, you know! You’re really starting to piss me off!
Gaz: Holly, when someone mentions anything to do with you and Kyle you jump on the offensive. You need to hear some home truths … You shouldn’t be together.
Holly: We’re not together! We’re not! … My emotions are running wild and I’ve had a drink, which means I’m ready to fuckin’ kick off!
Gaz: The sooner you accept it, the sooner you’ll get over it!
Holly: **SCREAMING** Never ever try and call yourself my brother! Fuck off!
Aaron: Fucking hell, I am trying to bang! Will you please keep the noise down!
Scott: How comes every time I bring a bird back everyone decides to kick off? Divvent worry darling, Daddy’s here!
3. The girls cool from the row by heading to the beach without the boys.
Chloe: Just my luck, there’s no fit boys, but I’ve seen a banana boat and I’m dying for a ride.
Charlotte: This banana boat is unreal! We need to combine our clits to create multiple orgasms for everyone to enjoy.
Chloe: WOOOOO! I love big bananas!
Charlotte: It’s like riding a giant penis. And the best thing about it is, you can only get physically hurt on the banana boat, not emotionally hurt!
Charlotte [having fallen off the banana]: Ow me bum hole! Arggh!
Holly: What the fuck is that?!
Charlotte: What is this stuff coming out of my arse?
Marnie: Fucking hell Charlotte, you’ve only gone and given yourself a colonic!
Charlotte: I can make it squirt so far, watch!
Chloe: Her fucking arsehole is proper kicking off, it’s leaking like a drainpipe!
4. With the girls off at t’beach, the lads take themselves on a night out.
Gaz: The girls have got no idea what’s going on, we’re gonna get the fuck out this villa! All the lads are on the pull, I can’t fucking wait!
Scott: Fuck them right, we’re gonna go and have an absolute frisk … We need to sneak out the house without the girls realising but I’m canny big and I make a canny bit of noise, Shh!
Nathan: This feels so bad, but it needs to be done.
Charlotte [to the girls]: I just overheard the lads saying that it’s ‘lads’ night’ tonight and that they’re all going to Linekers … Why don’t we just go out and gate crash them?
Chloe: Charlotte has got some really clever ideas! I wish I was that clever! She must’ve been to university.
Marnie: They will fucking shit themselves! They’re not gonna know what’s hit them!
Holly: In a perfect world, I would love to be able to walk into that club and see Scott and Aaron necking on with girls and Kyle sat by himself … I feel nervous, I feel numb.
5. Kyle pulls two birds and bring them back to the shag-pad. Chaos ensues!
Chloe [to the two random girls]: Do you mind fucking off? The exits are here, here and here!
Charlotte [to the lads]: Why are you all crammed in this one room? Do you know how sad that is? … I am fucking furious! You’re taking the fucking piss out of us!
Nathan: The girls have gone banshee bitch crazy, they’re try’na knock the door down! This isn’t a good idea at all!
Kyle: I’m so glad I’ve got the lads with us protecting us.
Charlotte: OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR NOW!!
Gaz: Fuck this, I’m gonna turn into a General. Take cover! Barricade the doors! REINFORCEMENTS!!
Holly: Psycho Charlotte has flipped and she is not stopping until she gets in that room.
Charlotte [to the lads]: I will get each and every one of your fucking cases and fling it in the fucking pool!
Gaz: Never in all my time have I seen the girls so desperate to get IN the shag-pad?
Scott: Charlotte’s gone pure nuts, so it looks like the bang’s out the window for Kyle.
Whew! Make sure you’re watching when it all kicks off.
Catch Episode 5 of Geordie Shore: The Greek Odyssey
tonight (Tuesday 17th November) at 10pm, only on MTV UK.
In the meantime, here’s Hyle’s juicy confession cam about the repercussions of their split, and the rest of the group’s reaction to the continuous drama.
Geordie Shore 1105 | Confession Cam: Hyle’s Break Up Devastation
Geordie Shore 1105 | Confession Cam: Everyone Is Fed Up With Hyle