50 Years Of Outrageous Television Innuendos
Big baps, bursting cream-filled buns, stiff peaks… don’t look at me like that. I’m obviously talking about The Great British Bake Off and the revolution of barely-masked innuendo on television in 2015. Nowadays, it’s easy to see innuendo splattered all over the place (mostly because we’re inserting it in every nook and cranny) but this hasn’t always been the case.
Although television hasn’t always been the full package of smutty humour we know it as today, television producers have made many attempts to squeeze something naughty into their works, despite how very hard it used to be to do so.
Here are our favourite outrageous clips from the past fifty years of television which slipped straight in past the watchful eyes and ears of censorship authorities.
The Risky Sixties: The Sexual Revolution
The Flintstones (1960)
In an early episode of cartoon caveman comedy The Flintstones, Fred and Barney go costume shopping. Asked what costume he would like to get, Barney tells Fred he would like something to make himself appear taller. Fred innocently suggests another head. Barney not-so-innocently replies.
Star Trek: The Original Series (1967)
Star Trek in every incarnation has been literally chock-a-block full of sexual innuendos and chemistry. There is, after all, so much than can be made of missiles, vast open spaces and blasting off. Here’s Captain Kirk not-so-casually hinting for a back-rub from “close friend” Spock.
Let’s not also forget this cracking exchange about penetration [of space]:
Kirk: When do you estimate penetration?
Spock: Slowing now. Contact in eighteen point three seconds. Brace yourselves. The area of penetration will no doubt be sensitive.
The Heavenly Seventies: The Good Years
Are You Being Served? (1975)
Are You Being Served? is a British great for repeatedly sliding innuendo inside peak-time television. Some of the best are every mention of Mrs. Slocombe’s long-suffering feline friend.
Star Trek: The Animated Series (1973-4)
I told you. Star Trek was doing it in the 70s too. Surprisingly, the animated series wasn’t a big hit with children and came to an abrupt climax after only two seasons. As this clip demonstrates, perhaps they should have aimed it adults?
The Crazy Eighties: Harmless Fun
Lord Flashheart was basically a walking innuendo in BlackAdder. Portrayed as an irresistible sex object, Flashheart whipped out some classic one-liners in a brief but beautiful scene from BlackAdder II:
Red Dwarf (1989)
Somehow, the following scene is completely innocent. A phallic-shaped alien attacks Lister by shrinking his boxers. Kryten, who is hoovering nearby, attempts to help him. It’s probably the funniest Red Dwarf scene ever.
The Mighty Nineties: The Dark Ages
Looney Tunes (1995)
The 1990s is when innuendo started going to deeper, darker and frankly unwanted territory. Remember good old Looney Tunes? In 1995, Bugs Bunny successfully tricked Yosemite Sam into locking himself in prison.
What awaits him there?:
Bizarrely, this isn’t an isolated example of casual prison rape humour in children’s television. Here’s Spongebob making a similar gag in 2003.
In one 1993 episode of Animaniacs, there’s a very un-subtle joke about confusing “fingerprints” for “finger Prince”. Prince being the singer, not William (or else this joke could have been so much worse).
Fortunately for everyone involved, Dot wasn’t up to fingering Prince and so threw him from a window. Been there.
The Naughty Noughties: Anything Goes
The Apprentice (2007)
By the noughties, pretty much anything goes. Here is eventual Apprentice winner Simon screwing his team’s chances of winning a shopping channel themed challenge. His complete lack of self-awareness makes this moment television gold:
JD and Turk were the ultimate bromance before bromances were even a thing and Scrubs stopped short of no opportunity to present just how close those guys were:
2010 to 2015: Totally Obscene
The Great British Bake Off (2010-present)
In 2015, everyone is inserting innuendos into everything they can, including cookery shows, documentaries and morning television, but most would agree GBBO is king of the double entendre. There’s just so many options to choose from – cream-filled buns, stiff peaked meringues, girthy baguettes – the list goes on and on. And lucky for us, so do Mary and Paul.
Springwatch, Autumnwatch & Winterwatch (2014)
We said everyone was doing it in 2015, but no one is trying harder than Chris Packham. Not only do we get to watch “Tits in HD” on Springwatch, we can also get useful instructive videos on Autumnwatch.
But Winterwatch viewers get the best deal of them all. Check out what Packham’s offering Winterwatch viewers live first thing in the morning:
We truly do live in a golden age for television.
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